from by Vital Consultant



Cards on the table here’s the appropriate forum
When it gets to midnight lose all sense of decorum
Give this much vodka to a Russian it would floor ‘em
My whole body weight supported by
a piece of my brain that won’t let me stop
My life is like a scene from eastenders
the looks I get on oxford street are horrendous
I got a body that appeals to both genders
But honesty, depravity and tight security will see them off
I’m your vital consultant
You pay your dollar to the vital consultant
Got a special offer on unknown unknowns
You’re gonna be thankful when you’re in the drop zone
I’m your vital consultant
You pay your dollar to the vital consultant
And who you wanna be depends on the money being spent on me
Get to the bar!
I’ll even waive my fee, but hear this…

Don’t need to tell me I’ve been smelling the friction
Spent all your cash on your bonjela addiction
Been there done that came back with the boots reward card
One too many mirror smacking black Wednesdays oh but
it’s time to show the whole load of them
how to shake your booty on the podium
Working through your tiny salary
driven on by the girls in the gallery
So you spend a nervy minute mooching with the kingpin
Then you hit the floor screaming like a vixen
I’m your vital consultant
Pay your dollar to the vital consultant
I’ll be there to guide you through the icebergs and bear-traps
I’ll be there to push you when you’re feeling like turning back
I’m your vital consultant
You pay your dollar to the vital consultant
Who you wanna be depends on the mentor that you choose
How much you got?
Shut up, shove it down, show me you can rinse this


from Mole (EP), released May 26, 2014



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Vital Consultant London, UK

Vital Consultant is a south London three piece act all about synth mayhem, uptempo dance beats and tight guitar licks. Big choruses, big verses, big drops. Picture a giant whippet and a binary wizard with four arms backing a bearded apocalypse – it’s the direct approach. Whatever the opposite of navel-gazing is, that’s the idea. If they could afford lasers, there would be lots. ... more

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