Mole (EP)

by Vital Consultant

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1.
03:16
2.
03:21
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02:35
5.

about

In the studio, Vital Consultant is Brixtonian Richard Legge, who realised a year ago that his particular brand of control-freakery and sudden bouts of mania was more suited to intense synth sessions and losing it on stage than in any office, anywhere. The first EP, Mole, captures some of the choicest rumblings to issue forth so far, and reflects the Consultant’s belief that music is brilliant and genres can piss right off.

Live, Vital Consultant is a relentless three piece act all about synth mayhem, uptempo dance beats and tight guitar licks. Big choruses, big verses, big drops. Picture a giant whippet* and a binary wizard with four arms** backing a bearded apocalypse – it’s the direct approach. Whatever the opposite of navel-gazing is, that’s the idea. If they could afford lasers, there would be lots. Audiences come for answers, and providing the questions relate to love, bingeing, death, dancing, sex or metaphorical rockets taking off, answers there shall be.

* best known for being the guy that did that ridiculous dance on the Lynx advert a while back – you know the one
** best known for once irritating Lily Allen

credits

released May 26, 2014

All songs written, performed, recorded and produced by
Richard Legge. With additional electric guitar and vocals by
Tom Godwin and trumpets by Zack Newman.
Mixed by Spud Maloney.
Mastered by Vasken Arslanian at Iguana Studios, Brixton.
Cover design and illustration by Greg Stevenson:
www.greg-stevenson.co.uk
Photography by Alexander Michael.

Apologies to Human Resources - your job rhymes with 'courses'.
That's all.

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about

Vital Consultant London, UK

Vital Consultant is a south London three piece act all about synth mayhem, uptempo dance beats and tight guitar licks. Big choruses, big verses, big drops. Picture a giant whippet and a binary wizard with four arms backing a bearded apocalypse – it’s the direct approach. Whatever the opposite of navel-gazing is, that’s the idea. If they could afford lasers, there would be lots. ... more

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Track Name: Vital
Cards on the table here’s the appropriate forum
When it gets to midnight lose all sense of decorum
Give this much vodka to a Russian it would floor ‘em
My whole body weight supported by
a piece of my brain that won’t let me stop
My life is like a scene from eastenders
the looks I get on oxford street are horrendous
I got a body that appeals to both genders
But honesty, depravity and tight security will see them off
I’m your vital consultant
You pay your dollar to the vital consultant
Got a special offer on unknown unknowns
You’re gonna be thankful when you’re in the drop zone
I’m your vital consultant
You pay your dollar to the vital consultant
And who you wanna be depends on the money being spent on me
Get to the bar!
I’ll even waive my fee, but hear this…

Don’t need to tell me I’ve been smelling the friction
Spent all your cash on your bonjela addiction
Been there done that came back with the boots reward card
One too many mirror smacking black Wednesdays oh but
it’s time to show the whole load of them
how to shake your booty on the podium
Working through your tiny salary
driven on by the girls in the gallery
So you spend a nervy minute mooching with the kingpin
Then you hit the floor screaming like a vixen
I’m your vital consultant
Pay your dollar to the vital consultant
I’ll be there to guide you through the icebergs and bear-traps
I’ll be there to push you when you’re feeling like turning back
I’m your vital consultant
You pay your dollar to the vital consultant
Who you wanna be depends on the mentor that you choose
How much you got?
Shut up, shove it down, show me you can rinse this
Track Name: One More
Can’t bear to think of you alone
So leave the light on, I’m coming home
I’m sorry bout the missed calls
So sorry bout my smokey breath
Not so sure just where I am
I’ll get the nightbus if I can
Spent the evening shouting
Another evening going deaf

Am I talking at you?
Have I annexed the stereo?
There’ll be guilt in the morning
But for now I’ll get the bottle and…

Oh! One drink
A better idea than you might think
I got issues baby
I got a thing to say
Yeah! One more
A nightcap’s all I’m asking for
Don’t make me go to sleep babe
The morning’s hours away

Lost our money on the baize
Short stack, all in, a pair of eights
Caught the old guy bluffing
Still showed a better hand than me
Got my nuts out in the bar
I think this graze is gonna scar
The bouncer wasn’t laughing
This place has had enough of me

I been sleeping on the pavement
I been scratching at the keyhole
There’ll be guilt in the morning
But for now I’ll get the bottle and…

…Your Vital Consultant’s had a big one
And I’m undone
Can’t find a minicab worthy of my custom
You don’t want my business
You don’t want to take me to my mistress and plus one
So I hunt down a falafel with the gay crowd
Do a little flirting, eat my pitta, get the hell out
God help me I’m bursting
It’s time to go home but I’m still a bit thirsty
Track Name: Don't Spoil The Party
Straight lines, right angles, desk tidy, glass and steel
Cash flows in on pink shirts and power heels
Shoulder to shoulder no room for manoeuvre in this rat race
But oh my god I am so lonely in this place

Work, don’t spoil the party
I’m more of a party man
Do the nine to five to stay alive
but the party’s where the living’s at
Work, don’t spoil the party
I got this tune going round my head
And the weekend just ain’t long enough
To get this party put to bed

Do you remember bad mornings, too drunk for a Monday
Doors shut, we’re packed in, I don’t get a thing they say
A room full of young intellectuals staring at my sweaty face
And oh my god I was so lonely in that place

Project leader, don’t spoil the party
Promotion seeker, don’t spoil the party
Networking courses, don’t spoil the party
Human resources, you’re not invited to this party

Now I forget the subject but I can’t forget the lesson
My voice broke mid-sentence, felt like I was undressing
That day nobody was laughing with me, oh if only
And yes my god I was so lonely
Track Name: Shelter
The family’s afraid of being needed now
I haven’t been betrayed, just slightly let down
Turned to those around for a slew of empty words
Where comfort can be found but passion’s never heard

You were there, my oldest friend
And I take shelter in your common sense

Got to tow the party line
When all the faces at the party are the same
Got to get the feeling right
Or they’ll be gone and I’ll be shamed
Now I know it’s one big test
And my heart’s in a mess
And the feelings have died
There’s a space inside

But through the weeks
You take the weight
And I take shelter in accepting fate
You’re unaware but you’ve been so sincere
So I shelter here
Track Name: Get On (Launch)
It’s all an act, it’s all a ruse
We’ve all got one thing to lose
When it’s gone, without a mind
Expose the animal inside
The pessimist, the born to see
Are wasting precious energy
Looking for that thought
No understanding, no support
Can’t stop thinking about the past
The days are going too fast
Season’s nearly through
One more year to look back onto
Want a big house so you can be
Kept out and jealous of me
Want to be like Michael Palin
Everyone likes him

On the treadmill flat out
You got your whole life mapped out
The mystery tour hasn’t yet gone
It’s your last chance to get on

There’s a boat taking the trade winds south – get on
The rudder’s wrecked and the captain drowned – get on
There’s a plane leaving your comfort zone – get on
On manual pilot to parts unknown

Who are your enemies?
Who are you trying to please?
The faces at the window
Or the faces on TV?
If what I say is not what I am
Then all I do is not all I can
Better brush up on your white lies
One day you’re gonna be the head of the family
When a thousand thoughts are stated
You and I tend to go and get wasted
Celebrate before the fact
And forget that we’re not yet celebrated
Want the biggest car on the market
Want to get my butler to park it
Want to be like Michael Palin
Everyone likes him