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Mole (EP)

by Vital Consultant

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1.
Vital 03:16
Cards on the table here’s the appropriate forum When it gets to midnight lose all sense of decorum Give this much vodka to a Russian it would floor ‘em My whole body weight supported by a piece of my brain that won’t let me stop My life is like a scene from eastenders the looks I get on oxford street are horrendous I got a body that appeals to both genders But honesty, depravity and tight security will see them off I’m your vital consultant You pay your dollar to the vital consultant Got a special offer on unknown unknowns You’re gonna be thankful when you’re in the drop zone I’m your vital consultant You pay your dollar to the vital consultant And who you wanna be depends on the money being spent on me Get to the bar! I’ll even waive my fee, but hear this… Don’t need to tell me I’ve been smelling the friction Spent all your cash on your bonjela addiction Been there done that came back with the boots reward card One too many mirror smacking black Wednesdays oh but it’s time to show the whole load of them how to shake your booty on the podium Working through your tiny salary driven on by the girls in the gallery So you spend a nervy minute mooching with the kingpin Then you hit the floor screaming like a vixen I’m your vital consultant Pay your dollar to the vital consultant I’ll be there to guide you through the icebergs and bear-traps I’ll be there to push you when you’re feeling like turning back I’m your vital consultant You pay your dollar to the vital consultant Who you wanna be depends on the mentor that you choose How much you got? Shut up, shove it down, show me you can rinse this
2.
One More 03:21
Can’t bear to think of you alone So leave the light on, I’m coming home I’m sorry bout the missed calls So sorry bout my smokey breath Not so sure just where I am I’ll get the nightbus if I can Spent the evening shouting Another evening going deaf Am I talking at you? Have I annexed the stereo? There’ll be guilt in the morning But for now I’ll get the bottle and… Oh! One drink A better idea than you might think I got issues baby I got a thing to say Yeah! One more A nightcap’s all I’m asking for Don’t make me go to sleep babe The morning’s hours away Lost our money on the baize Short stack, all in, a pair of eights Caught the old guy bluffing Still showed a better hand than me Got my nuts out in the bar I think this graze is gonna scar The bouncer wasn’t laughing This place has had enough of me I been sleeping on the pavement I been scratching at the keyhole There’ll be guilt in the morning But for now I’ll get the bottle and… …Your Vital Consultant’s had a big one And I’m undone Can’t find a minicab worthy of my custom You don’t want my business You don’t want to take me to my mistress and plus one So I hunt down a falafel with the gay crowd Do a little flirting, eat my pitta, get the hell out God help me I’m bursting It’s time to go home but I’m still a bit thirsty
3.
Straight lines, right angles, desk tidy, glass and steel Cash flows in on pink shirts and power heels Shoulder to shoulder no room for manoeuvre in this rat race But oh my god I am so lonely in this place Work, don’t spoil the party I’m more of a party man Do the nine to five to stay alive but the party’s where the living’s at Work, don’t spoil the party I got this tune going round my head And the weekend just ain’t long enough To get this party put to bed Do you remember bad mornings, too drunk for a Monday Doors shut, we’re packed in, I don’t get a thing they say A room full of young intellectuals staring at my sweaty face And oh my god I was so lonely in that place Project leader, don’t spoil the party Promotion seeker, don’t spoil the party Networking courses, don’t spoil the party Human resources, you’re not invited to this party Now I forget the subject but I can’t forget the lesson My voice broke mid-sentence, felt like I was undressing That day nobody was laughing with me, oh if only And yes my god I was so lonely
4.
Shelter 02:35
The family’s afraid of being needed now I haven’t been betrayed, just slightly let down Turned to those around for a slew of empty words Where comfort can be found but passion’s never heard You were there, my oldest friend And I take shelter in your common sense Got to tow the party line When all the faces at the party are the same Got to get the feeling right Or they’ll be gone and I’ll be shamed Now I know it’s one big test And my heart’s in a mess And the feelings have died There’s a space inside But through the weeks You take the weight And I take shelter in accepting fate You’re unaware but you’ve been so sincere So I shelter here
5.
It’s all an act, it’s all a ruse We’ve all got one thing to lose When it’s gone, without a mind Expose the animal inside The pessimist, the born to see Are wasting precious energy Looking for that thought No understanding, no support Can’t stop thinking about the past The days are going too fast Season’s nearly through One more year to look back onto Want a big house so you can be Kept out and jealous of me Want to be like Michael Palin Everyone likes him On the treadmill flat out You got your whole life mapped out The mystery tour hasn’t yet gone It’s your last chance to get on There’s a boat taking the trade winds south – get on The rudder’s wrecked and the captain drowned – get on There’s a plane leaving your comfort zone – get on On manual pilot to parts unknown Who are your enemies? Who are you trying to please? The faces at the window Or the faces on TV? If what I say is not what I am Then all I do is not all I can Better brush up on your white lies One day you’re gonna be the head of the family When a thousand thoughts are stated You and I tend to go and get wasted Celebrate before the fact And forget that we’re not yet celebrated Want the biggest car on the market Want to get my butler to park it Want to be like Michael Palin Everyone likes him

about

In the studio, Vital Consultant is Brixtonian Richard Legge, who realised a year ago that his particular brand of control-freakery and sudden bouts of mania was more suited to intense synth sessions and losing it on stage than in any office, anywhere. The first EP, Mole, captures some of the choicest rumblings to issue forth so far, and reflects the Consultant’s belief that music is brilliant and genres can piss right off.

Live, Vital Consultant is a relentless three piece act all about synth mayhem, uptempo dance beats and tight guitar licks. Big choruses, big verses, big drops. Picture a giant whippet* and a binary wizard with four arms** backing a bearded apocalypse – it’s the direct approach. Whatever the opposite of navel-gazing is, that’s the idea. If they could afford lasers, there would be lots. Audiences come for answers, and providing the questions relate to love, bingeing, death, dancing, sex or metaphorical rockets taking off, answers there shall be.

* best known for being the guy that did that ridiculous dance on the Lynx advert a while back – you know the one
** best known for once irritating Lily Allen

credits

released May 26, 2014

All songs written, performed, recorded and produced by
Richard Legge. With additional electric guitar and vocals by
Tom Godwin and trumpets by Zack Newman.
Mixed by Spud Maloney.
Mastered by Vasken Arslanian at Iguana Studios, Brixton.
Cover design and illustration by Greg Stevenson:
www.greg-stevenson.co.uk
Photography by Alexander Michael.

Apologies to Human Resources - your job rhymes with 'courses'.
That's all.

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Vital Consultant London, UK

Vital Consultant is a south London three piece act all about synth mayhem, uptempo dance beats and tight guitar licks. Big choruses, big verses, big drops. Picture a giant whippet and a binary wizard with four arms backing a bearded apocalypse – it’s the direct approach. Whatever the opposite of navel-gazing is, that’s the idea. If they could afford lasers, there would be lots. ... more

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